April is my Birthday Month and this year I am going to celebrate it by doing something special just for me. It is very Gen N-titled behavior to celebrate your birthday every day of your month by buying yourself a present, having spa treatments, indulging in a designer purse and/or pair of shoes. Bubbly for lunch? Why not?! It’s your Birthday Month and you deserve to be special! Boutique de le Rue La La? Shop on, Birthday Girl! Buy all the things this month!
Be extra demanding when ordering your usual Skim Soy Lite Caramel foam-on-the-bottom-and top-but-not-mixed-into-the-middle Stirred Two Times To The Left With An Eight Second Squirt Of LITE Whipped Cream Latte, With Extra Nuts, please. Ask for a sprinkle of cinnamon sugar on top. And a swirl or three of chocolate syrup. Go ahead, it’s your Birthday Month and you are entitled to the extra attention. After all, you only turn special once a year!
Don’t you worry about being an imposition to anyone else either. They need to just get on board for your 30 days of self-celebration and either be happy that you are special (again) or they can just move on out of your birthday way.
When you aren’t shopping and indulging yourself make sure that you tell everyone that you come in contact with “It’s my birthday today”! in the hopes that you get a freebie of some sort, or at least a verbal acknowledgement that you are special today. Verbal affirmations from complete strangers is vital to the over all success of your month-long endeavor. Do this every day. Every. Single. Day. Of the month.
On the date that really IS your birthday whip out your driver’s license and let all of the people in hearing distance share in the super compliment that when you were getting your licensed renewed that morning the person taking your picture said that you didn’t look a day over 19 (even if they didn’t). Strike your pose Girl, ’cause you are cute as hell, and you know it! And? You are special today! Say it out loud; Hashtag #BirthdayMonth!
To be fair, not all of us are shopping our budgets into the red and acting totes adorbs everywhere we go. Some Birthday Month revelers keep it a bit more reasonable, at least as far as the money spent. Neither are all the celebrators attention whores, but they are still celebrating how amazingly deserving and special they are in their own way. Maybe they have desert when they normally would not, or the $20 bottle of wine makes it home when usually the $10 bottle is what lands in the cart. Sleeping in is free but it isn’t as Tweet worthy as a new mani AND pedi! You can’t upload a picture of sleeping in.
Regardless of what end of the scale that someone feels they deserve to treat themselves at, it is the practice that I am trying to wrap my mind around. Why does someone feel the need to be special every day for an entire month? One day isn’t enough? Apparently not in our society of self-entitled, over-indulged, Tweeted, selfie-loving minions of the internet. And let it be known that the Tweets, Facebook status updates, Instagrams, and whatever other social media the self-indulged are airbrushing their lives with these days, the hashtag #BirthdayMonth will be used. Ad nausea.
I will admit that I tried to treat myself special during my Birthday Month last year. Oh, I Tweeted about the manicure and the dessert, and the sleeping-in rather than gym ratting it on a Saturday morning. That nonsense lasted one week before I realized that I had missed or forgotten 4 of the 7 days in the first week to treat me special. Hell, if I can’t splurge on myself for seven measly days in a row how the heck was I supposed to practice self- entitled indulgence for an entire month? Call me a entitled failure if you must. I can live with the stigma of it all as I haven’t given up entirely the idea of celebrating my Birthday Month. I just have to think about these things in a way that makes sense to sensible me and I think I have figured it out for this year.
Instead of spending money on shit I don’t need or want (or else I would already have it) I have a plan that is going to make the haters really hate and the posers are really going to have to Vogue it up to stay ahead of me. Oh yes, this par-tay girl is going to kick it old school and break bad all over the #BirthdayMonth idea.
This girl is going to rock a 30 day core challenge and kill a 30 day elimination diet. Assuming that I am in a better place in 30 days then I will spend some solid cash on some new clothes but it won’t be because I am special. It will be because my current clothes are too big.
To a majority of the Birthday Month celebrators this plan falls far short of the super cute and sparkly things that they would do but this is MY Birthday Month and it is what I want for myself. While I am kicking it old school on some abs I say: “Let them eat cake”!
I owe this to myself, because I am special, and I deserve to spend a month doing stuff and eating the things that are good for me and should help me be healthy and happier.
So happy birthday, and Happy Birthday Month to me.
Now bring on the pain so I can nail this thing.
Do you celebrate your Birthday Month? Have you ever done a one month food/physical challenge? Were the results what you were hoping for?